Dogs
by TheNextFolchart
Summary: His first day in Azkaban is miserable. Because he's innocent, innocent, innocent, and why won't anyone believe him? /Sirius and Remus and how they lived without each other. Written for HPFC.
1. Loyal

His first day in Azkaban is miserable.

Because he's innocent, innocent, innocent, and why won't anyone believe him?

(He gets two daily meals - soup and porridge, slipped beneath the door - but that's prisoner food, and he_ shouldn't be a prisoner._)

And he's howling, because it _hurts_, being so alone, and knowing that one best friend is dead and one is a traitor and one believes he's betrayed them all.

(That's the one that hurts the most, actually. Because if nothing else, Sirius Black is _loyal_, and the fact that Remus doesn't realize that means he never knew Sirius at all.)

* * *

_[100 prompts: Howling]_

_[Becoming a Wizard: Chore 2 - food]_


	2. Traitor

Remus sits in a dark room with his arms clasped around his knees and thinks of Sirius.

(He can't help it.)

He knows Sirius was a traitor in the end, knows he's locked away in Azkaban, knows he's _never coming back._

(But all his other friends are dead, so who else is he supposed to think about?)

He doesn't think of Sirius quite as often anymore. It's only when the moon is full, only when he's sitting up in the middle of the night with the shades drawn because he can't sleep.

(It's only when he's desperate.)

Because Peter was his friend and James was his brother but Sirius, Sirius was his drug, Sirius was his intoxication, Sirius is the worst thing he's ever tried and the best thing he's ever lost, and Sirius is _never. Coming. Back._

(And Remus doesn't even want him to. Not really.)

Trembling, he rises from his fetal position and moves to the window. He gently pulls apart the curtains and presses a hand - paw - against the pane of glass.

The moon stares back at him, and Remus searches with lupine eyes, but he doesn't see a face among the craters.

(He only sees bleakness.)

* * *

_[100 prompts: Dark Room]_

_[Becoming a Wizard: Chore 1 - sleep]_

_[The Star Challenge: Polaris - write about Remus]_


	3. Mantra

And then Sirius is free.

Not legally, of course, but _rightfully_.

And as he swims through the freezing water, snapping up mouthfuls of salt and wind and foam, there is only one thought in his shaggy black head:

He is going to kill Peter Pettigrew.

He isn't sure how yet - he doesn't have a wand, doesn't have a gun, doesn't have anything but the ragged clothes on his back and the mantra in his head (_kill him, kill him, kill him_) - but he's going to do it, and that's a murder for which he'll gladly go back to Azkaban.

And he's going to find Remus, too, and tell him the truth.

(About _everything._)

(About that night.)

(About the rat.)

(About his heart, and the way it once beat only for Remus, because women are lovely and women are sexy and women are fun, but the only true mate for a dog is another dog.)

And he's been swimming for hours (days) and he's a little tired (his legs are giving out) but he presses on (_kill him kill him kill him_) until land is finally within reach, and then he clambers up the beach, shakes twice, and turns back into a man.

His hair is long and wet, his body skeletal, his skin a ghastly yellow. His clothes hang from his body in tatters. His shoes didn't even make it out of his cell. And it's not as if he can fix any of it, because new clothes cost money, and he can't very well walk into Gringotts and request access to Sirius Black's bank vault.

(But Padfoot can.)

So he scrawls a note and treks off to Diagon Alley. The goblins are suspicious when the giant dog pushes through the door and spits soggy parchment on their desk, but they walk into their back room, and return with the 10,000 galleons he's requested. He fits it into his mouth and trots away with a muffled bark of thanks.

After that it's easy to get robes (he writes down his measurements) and food (chocolate, because the dementors' effects linger) and a wand.

(Ollivander is the only one who realizes. But he doesn't say anything, only winks and hands over the new wand.)

And suddenly anything is possible, and Sirius' mantra has become as natural to him as his own heartbeat.

_Kill him. Kill him. Kill him._

* * *

_[The Star Challenge: Sirius]_

_[Becoming A Wizard Challenge: Chore 6 - clothes]_

_[Wizard Sweets Challenge: Chocolate]_

_[100 Prompts: wink]_


	4. Gravestones

When Remus opens the morning Prophet, he chokes on his cereal.

Because Sirius' face is on the front page, under the headline "BLACK STILL AT LARGE."

He starts to read the article, but he can't make it past the first line, because that's _Sirius, _that's _Padfoot_, and _how in the bloody world did he escape? _

And then the shock wears off, and there's nothing left in him but anger.

Sirius killed James. Sirius killed Lily. Sirius killed Peter.

(Sirius didn't kill Remus, and that was even more cruel, because at least if he were dead, he wouldn't be _alone_.)

His hand crawls along the table until it finds his wand, and then he's gripping it tightly, and sparks are flying from the end. Not for the first time, he wonders what it would feel like to kill a human being.

(Or a dog.)

"Avada," he whispers, just to taste the word, but he doesn't go further.

If Sirius knocks on his door, though, he'll finish the Unforgivable without a second thought.

He pushes his chair away from the table and goes out into the garden. It's shabby, like the rest of his house, and a little neglected, but Remus doesn't care about the flowers. He cares about the six flat stones, lying in the dirt with shallow names scratched into them with a kitchen knife. He goes to them, all in a row, with daisies and tulips and lilies (because he can't help himself) planted all around, and they're wilting because he doesn't take care of them, so he murmurs a, "Sorry," and waves his wand to bring them back to life.

(If only it worked so easily on humans.)

Remus bends down and touches each stone gently, whispering names as he goes.

One is for his father.

One is for his mother.

One is for James.

One is for Lily.

One is for Peter.

And one is unmarked, but he knows it's for himself, and the piece of him that died the day his friends did.

"I miss you," he whispers to his makeshift gravestones - makeshift because there is nothing buried under any of them. "Mum. Dad. Prongs. Lils. Wormtail."

"What about me?"

And that voice, even after all this time, even after _everything,_ is still like an electric shock

Remus turns, wand raised, and finds himself face to face with Sirius.

"Did you miss me?" he asks, hands up in surrender.

"_Avada Ked - "_

Sirius yanks the wand from his hand and throws it across the garden. "That last stone in your garden is not for me, mate," he says, and his voice is hoarse, as if he hasn't spoken in years.

(That, or he's been screaming.)

"I'll kill you," Remus whispers, and then again, louder: "I'll _kill you._"

"No, you won't."

Remus leaps at him. "You _murdered them_," he cries. "Your _best friends!_"

"I didn't!" Sirius shoves him off and pulls out a wand of his own. "I didn't, Moony. I can prove it."

"Prove it, then!"

Sirius pulls out a battered copy of the Daily Prophet. It's soaked in seawater, and the words are blurred and runny, and Remus can't read any of it. "Not the words," Sirius says. "The _photograph._"

It's a family in Egypt.

"They have a rat," Sirius whispers, and his eyes are glowing with excitement, and it throws Remus back into seventh year when Sirius' eyes lit up like that for _him._ "And it's missing something. Do you see what it's missing, Moony?"

Remus doesn't, and he says so.

"A toe." Sirius throws back his head and laughs. "It's a _toe._"

"How is this proving any - "

"It's _Peter_, Moony, don't you see? It's Wormtail."

Remus shakes his head. "You're mad," he says. "And you're a murderer, and you're going to _pay._"

"I _have _paid," he says. "I've paid every day of my life for twelve years. They're _dead_, Remus, and it's my fault, but I didn't betray them. I would never. I would have died first." He drops the Prophet and seizes Remus by the shoulders. "You know me," he whispers. "You _know I didn't do this._"

Remus meets his wide eyes. "I don't know you at all anymore." And he stoops to retrieve his wand and turns his back on his one-time friend, half-hoping Sirius will take the shot and kill him now.

But he doesn't. He watches Remus for a moment, shoulder's slumped, and then he transforms and lets out a howl of despair.

And as soon as Remus is safely inside, he sinks to the ground and sobs.

Because he's lost six people in his life.

One is his father.

One is his mother.

One is James.

One is Lily.

One is Peter.

And one is Sirius.

(Who has just let Remus walk away for the second time.)

* * *

_[Becoming a Wizard Challenge: Chore 4 - garden]_

_[Wizard Sweets Challenge: Blood-flavored Lollipop - write about a graveyard]_

_[100 Prompts: Anger]_

_[Disney Character Challenge: Koda - write about a betrayal. Prompt: rocks (or stones)]_


End file.
